Somewhere, in a parallel time plane...

Associated Press

Washington, DC - After months of delay, obstruction, and hot-blooded rhetoric on both sides of the issue, the ban on Christians in the military has finally passed the United States Senate and is on its way to the White House for the president's signature.

Many pro-Christian advocates are hailing this vote as a triumph of equal rights. "This vote is proof that the United States Constitution is for all, no matter what who you worship," said Speaker of the House, Annabelle James, herself a Christian and co-author of the Senate version of the repeal of the so-called "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" legislation that was enacted by President James in 1993.

Opponents of the measure campaigned hard against passage of the repeal. Congressman Randy Wilcox, a self-avowed atheist, said during the House debate on the issue that "Our military cannot stand with anyone who follows the teaching of a pacifist like Jesus Christ! How can we possibly maintain the strongest military in the world when someone follows a god who says "Thou shalt not kill"?"

In the end, the measure passed on a mostly party-line vote with a few Senators crossing the aisle to show their support.

Senator and former presidential candidate Harry Wilson, acknowledged that there were not enough votes to stop passage of the repeal. He blamed the passage on pro-Christian elite with little military experience on forcing their social agenda on troops during wartime.

"They will do what is asked of them," Wilson said of service members. "But don't think there won't be a great cost."

Many servicemen and women who had been discharged under "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" cheered the vote as a victory for future Christians who wish to serve their country.

"When I served, I felt like I couldn't be me, like I couldn't be fully me." Former First Sergeant Timothy Jacobs told a crowd outside Capitol Hill during a rally for support of the repeal. "My faith is part of who I am as a person, and to have to hide that in order to serve the country I love... it was like cutting off a limb."

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(Back to this time plane)

Before anyone gets on my case about the comparison between sexual orientation and religion, and anything about choosing faith vs. choosing sexuality, get over it. This is satire, designed to illustrate a point, not to pick apart an argument.

That point? What if it were you? What if it were something that you did/believed/were that kept you from doing something you felt was the right thing to do? What if you were forced to make a choice to not be or not be one thing that you are in your heart of hearts in order to be something else that you are in your heart of hearts?

In the interest of full disclosure, I'm not a big fan of the military, and I'm not a big fan of government in general. And my view of DADT is summed up by the late Bill Hicks: "Anyone dumb enough to want to be in the military should be allowed in; end of fucking story." (his emphasis)

But I am an even lesser fan of hate. I do not begrudge people who want to be in the military, but neither do I think less of them - they are following what they believe to be right, and more power to them. But to be denied that just because you live a lifestyle that people who crafted rules and regulations years ago didn't like and still don't is asinine.

My conclusion is this: You should be who you are. Everything that you are. Nobody should have the right to tell you that you can't be you while doing something else that makes you you.

Unfortunately, we live in a society where disagreement is no longer civil; it is for all intents and purposes criminal. Whether it's ideas, politics, morality, or simply how you choose to live your life, those who disagree see you not as a person who they happen to disagree with, but as the enemy, and treat you as such.

This goes beyond sexual orientation, as I'm sure you've guessed by now, but it seems that in the current environment, gays and bisexuals are "safe" to hate, primarily because of very flimsy biblical backing and just the sheer popularity of it.

And hate is fear. Yes, it is. Insecurity in one's self, fear of punishment by some invisible higher authority, whatever your flavor, it's fear.

And no, going up and punching someone in the jaw doesn't show that you're not afraid. In fact, it shows just the opposite.

Until we live in a world without fear, we have to live with these small victories, claiming something that should have existed from the beginning.

Thank you for your time.

BTW, the "great cost" was cut and pasted from a quote by Senator John McCain.